Why New Habits Take Longer Than You Think

It’s not a motivation problem

There’s a framework used a lot in movement and rehab research called COM-B, originally developed by Michie, van Stralen and West (1). It says that for any behaviour to happen, three things need to line up: Capability (can your body and mind do it), Opportunity (does your environment and routine make it possible), and Motivation (do you want to, in the moment it counts). It’s rarely as simple as any one of these working alone, research testing the model directly has found that capability and opportunity both shape whether people stay physically active, largely by shaping motivation itself, which tends to be the most immediate driver of the behaviour (2). So if you’re not moving, the honest question usually isn’t “why don’t you want to?” It’s “what’s actually in the way?”

I know this one personally. In 2018, I had my first child. The labour was difficult and the recovery slow, despite having always been fit and active, some things are simply out of your control, no matter how prepared you think you are. Then, at twelve months postpartum, I fell pregnant again, developed hyperemesis gravidarum, and was anaemic for around half the pregnancy. I could barely get up the stairs in my own house, let alone train, and this was my actual job. Then, when my second was eight weeks old, we started building Waves, which took off far faster than we expected. My motivation was there the entire time. It never went anywhere. But my capacity and my opportunity simply didn’t allow for much movement in those first couple of years back, no matter how much I wanted it.

Your surroundings, and the people in them, matter more than we tend to admit

How much people move is shaped heavily by their environment and the people around them. A major review published in The Lancet, part of a series examining physical activity worldwide, found that social support and the surrounding environment are consistent, significant correlates of whether people stay active, across every stage of life, alongside individual factors like confidence and motivation (3). This links closely to self-determination theory, which comes up a lot in physiotherapy research on why people stick with something or drop it. It says people stay engaged for the long run when three needs are met: autonomy, competence, and relatedness, feeling genuinely supported by the people guiding you (4).

This is exactly how I found my own way back. I started individual sessions with my colleagues Wanda and Charles here at Waves, then Thomas at BarFit, good to train somewhere that wasn’t also my workplace, and these days it’s personalised programming with Jorn at Super7. Each time, I handed the accountability over rather than holding it myself. Booking a fixed session removes the decision from the moment itself, because it’s already set (5), and knowing someone was expecting me did more for my consistency than any self-discipline could. It wasn’t a shortcut, it was building the kind of support structure the research says works.

Did you know?

Real-world research tracking people building a new daily habit found it takes a median of 66 days to feel automatic, and anywhere from 18 to well over 200 days depending on the person and the behaviour (6). A more recent review across a range of health habits found much the same picture (7).

Start small, and let it take the time it needs

The belief that “I am someone who does this” is built through small, repeated wins, not through information or good intentions (8). That’s the case for starting properly small, one session a week, not a full programme, and for expecting it to take a while to feel automatic. Missing the odd session doesn’t meaningfully knock people off course in the research (6), an occasional skipped week isn’t a relapse. What matters more than intensity is simply doing it consistently, in doses small enough that you can actually keep it up (6).

My own return followed exactly this shape, though I wasn’t thinking about any of this at the time. My only aim, to start, was to turn up once a week. When that was working, I added a second session. When that was working too, I swapped cycling the kids to school for walking them, one day a week. Each layer was only added once the one before it had settled. It took about three years, in total, before I reached a place I was truly happy with, years with slip-ups, stretches where it all clicked, and plenty of times I wanted too much too soon, overdid it, and had to rest before getting back on. None of that was proof it wasn’t working. Getting back on, each time, was the process doing exactly what it’s meant to do.

I share this as a reflection, not a template, my journey won’t be yours, and it shouldn’t be. What mattered was the pattern underneath, not the specifics, and finding your own version of that pattern is exactly what we’re here to support you with.

What this looks like at Waves

None of this is about finding better motivation. It’s about needing less of it for the behaviour to happen at all. So when we sit down with you, we’re less interested in how badly you want it, and more interested in where in your actual week this fits, who’s around you when it needs to happen, and what the smallest possible version of it looks like. It’s a quieter, less dramatic approach than most fitness messaging promises, and evidence aside, it’s also just what worked for me, and for many of our team here.

We run a lot of different activities precisely because there’s no single right way to build this, and the version that works will look different for everyone. If something isn’t landing for you, that’s useful information, not a failure, talk to your instructor about it directly, they’d rather know than have you quietly stop coming. If you’re not sure a particular session or format was ever the right fit in the first place, tell us that too, so we can support you in finding one that suits your week and your space better. And if you’d rather start that conversation from scratch, book a discovery call or have a chat with the team at the front desk. We’re here to support you in finding the system that fits your life, not to fit you into ours.

You can reach us at hello@wavesleuven.be or 016 58 04 14.

Written by Katina, co-director at Waves Leuven

Disclaimers:
– This blog does not contain medical advice. The information provided is for general and educational purposes only and should not be treated as a substitute for professional guidance. Please consult the appropriate healthcare provider before acting on anything shared here.
– Written and edited by Katina, who checked all citations against their original sources. AI was used to support editing, structure, and fact-checking.